Innntro

i have had seventeen years to get to know myself. 

i have made zero progress.

i still can't even decide if i like chocolate ice cream or vanilla.

or if i even like ice cream at all.

seventeen years to be the best me and the worst me.

to fall in love and out of it.... again and again... 

but who knows if its even love anyway...

well... i guess this is more of a welcome than an intro.

welcome to my world. 

welcome to who i think i am. 

who i want to be. 

and who i am not.

welcome to my seemingly endless stream of nothingness.

it means more to me than one would assume.

welcome to the lies. the truth. and the unknown...

welcome to me.

i am the love of all things green and growing.

the most perfect adventure through the trees.

i am apart of the the earth and the earth is apart of me...

though i can't seem to figure out how.

i find my paris... in the rain. in over-sized sweaters and wool socks. in a big blue chair next to the fireplace with blankets putting me softly to sleep. in long drives on dirt roads with nowhere to go. nowhere to be. just my music and me...

i am sorry.

sorry for the way i am...

but it is all i ever was.

........

carsyn